you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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