The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
