is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
