one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
