I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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