I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
