i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
