how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
