Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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