The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
