Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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