so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bring me that man meat
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
