you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
They have beer where we have blood.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
