This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
