Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Even my vagina gasped.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
