New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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