Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
