Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
