cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
send nudes
from the living room?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
