i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
