So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
