You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
