Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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