I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
