I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wish my penis had a tongue
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
