I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
