Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Small penises have feelings too.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
