I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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