i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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