Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
