Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
