So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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