I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
