Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Randomize
