I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
