I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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