I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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