if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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