A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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