Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
