Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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