Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
