highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
