How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize