BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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