He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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