The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Watching her eat just hurts me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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