sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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