i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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