Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
and you fell through a lawn chair
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
