What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
