Already got asked if we're dating
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
