Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
