If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
