I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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