honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she looked like the before picture.
is wine microwaveable?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
