We're facebook friends in real life
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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