I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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